What the hell am I doing?

I don’t expect anyone to read this but if you come across this, hi! I am Evie (I tend to dislike my given name) I go by she/them pronouns and I am a young adult situated in Canada. I decided that I will write away my problems like the majority of our melodramatic generation and decided to do it here where no one will know me (hopefully).

I don’t quite know what I am doing. Kinda obvious by the title. And when I say this, I don’t just mean this site, or writing, I know quite a bit about writing, but overall with my life. I am in those awkward years where you are thrown from kid to adult with little to no guidance, and it doesn’t help that the one parent I have available doesn’t quite seem to understand that unless it comes to money.

I want to be an author, and possibly pop my head into YouTube, but that's about it. And while some may see that as enough, I don’t. I barely see the point in life. I don’t want to work until I’m sixty something (realistically I’m not retiring at a young age unfortunately) and then what? suffer in a retirement home till my clock ticks out? I hate that. I hate it with every fiber of my being yet its how the world works.

This is why I love books like Harry Potter and Starwars. There is an actual point in their lives, in these worlds. Earth is just not appealing. This is not to say I want to die. While I have my moments, overall its more so that I don’t want to exist? I don’t know.

This is becoming a depressing first entry so I’m going to leave this here. If anyone reads this, have a good day/evening and find your purpose!

Warm Regards,

Your local hypocrite